An article for anyone who comments on other people's bodies believing it motivates them — and for anyone who heard those comments and believed they were for their own good.
What does the evidence say?
Weight stigma is harmful to health over and above objective body mass index, and is prospectively related to heightened mortality and other chronic conditions[1]. A meta-analysis of 105 studies found perceived obesity stigma associated with poorer mental health, with evidence suggesting depression associates with stigmatisation rather than with obesity itself[2].
those who experience stigma
rather than lowering it
The cruel paradox
Stigma raises the risk of obesity through multiple pathways: increased intake of high-calorie foods regardless of BMI, exercise avoidance, healthcare avoidance, and unhealthy eating behaviours including emotional overeating and binge eating[1],[3] (see emotional eating).
Put plainly: the comment you thought was motivation makes the person eat more, move less and avoid the doctor.
And in the clinic too
Stigma is particularly prevalent and damaging in healthcare settings: high levels of anti-fat bias among providers are documented, and patients receive poorer care with worse outcomes. Physicians spend less time with patients of higher body weight, provide less health education, and patients become less trusting and less likely to attend screening[4].
What to do instead of commenting
- Don't comment on anyone's body — ever, not even with praise ("mashallah, you've lost weight!"), because it makes the body a permanent object of assessment.
- Change the environment, not the person: cook healthier, invite them for a walk, offer options — without a lecture.
- With your children especially: commenting on their bodies establishes a poor relationship with food that lasts a lifetime (see the childhood obesity article).
- And with yourself: your harsh internal monologue is subject to the same mechanism.